Death has always triggered a deep, gut-wrenching anxiety in me.

 

Just mentioning the word can send me into a panicked state.

​

I am a very structured person and need to have control over everything in my daily life. When something disrupts that structure, it causes my heart to race, sending a surge of anxiety through my body and leaving me in a sweaty, panicked mess. Death is the one thing that no one can avoid or explain what’s next, which makes it a particularly uncomfortable topic for me due to my need to know every detail and answer to my every " what-if " question. It prompts thoughts about what will happen after. One day, I will simply be gone. Forever.

​

I struggle to convey my ideas through designs, experiments, and research; I simply enjoy creating these thoughts into sculptures. Being a visual learner, I draw significant inspiration from various forms of media. Some key influences include Sally Mann, Andreas Serrano, Damien Hirst, and Serena JV Elston, each of whom examines these subjects through different media. Each artist ultimately wants to open that tough discussion of mortality and make the viewer uncomfortable through abject art. I particularly admire how both Sally Mann and Serena JV Elston explore the theme of nature reclaiming spaces and transforming the negative into something beautiful. While my approach leans more toward the abject than the aesthetically pleasing, I emphasise the relationship between my sculpture and nature. This connection highlights the body as a part of the natural cycle, contributing to the environment whilst also aiding scientific understanding of the human body.

​

I view this outcome as both an art piece that has challenged my physical abilities to create something lifelike and as a polemic statement on the significance of research facilities that specialise in body decomposition. These facilities are essential for fully understanding this process in the UK. I believe my work will stimulate discussion about the accuracy of this process, highlighting our lack of knowledge due to insufficient studies in the UK. Gaining access to conduct this research would not only advance scientific development and forensics but also benefit the film industry by enabling more accurate recreations of these props across a range of climates and environments.

​

Throughout this project, I have challenged myself to explore the concepts of decay and death, to come to terms with mortality, and to actually be intrigued by the process the body undergoes after death. I hope that those who engage with my work will reflect on these themes and allow this piece to linger in their minds for a while. Giving them the opportunity to process and openly discuss this topic, ultimately leading to greater acceptance.

​

With this piece, I encourage everyone to embrace life fully and live without regrets.

​

If you were to die right now, would you feel like you have lived a full life, or would you wish you had done this and that?